Wakey Wakey! Eggs and Bakey!

I love my boyfriend.  Not only is he made up entirely of awesomesauce, but he also somehow has this amazing ability to deal with my need to push buttons.

What most people see as a ‘Do Not Disturb Sign,’ I see as a green traffic light.  It’s a good thing I’m not in charge of shooting off bombs because I would’ve destroyed the planet YEARS ago.  We’re talking full scale apocolypse of doom.

When I see this

My brain registers it as THIS

And THIS is what ends up happening…

And That is how I will one day be responsible for THIS.

I’m hoping that the above visual representation will help garner some modicum of sympathy from you… But honestly, I don’t really deserve it. 

You see, I am what one calls an ‘Early Riser.’  This means that I get up by 7am on the weekends (5:30 on weekdays) and am as annoying as humanly possible first thing in the morning.  Especially if someone gives me sugary cereal.  Now, if it’s a school/work morning, I’m usually pretty low key because the days are long and I have to conserve my energy.  But on weekends?  Oh boy.

What usually happens on Saturday and Sunday morning is that I wake up at 7, turn over, and stare at my boyfriend for about 15 minutes.

Now Josh is my opposite when it comes to sleep.  He wakes up REALLY late and it takes him forever to wake up… not to mention that he’s a REAL grouch in the mornings.

Are you starting to see where that ‘do not push’ button analogy is going to come in?

This process usually continues until I get bored and go out into the living room to watch the news and fiddle around on Facebook.

Then… I get bored again.  And, about every hour or so, I’ll pick up the cat and toss her onto the bed, just to see if she’ll bat at his face to wake him up… mainly because I’d rather he yell at the cat than at me.

Sometime later in the day, I start whining.  I continuously whine until he wakes up…  Now he may look like this to the normal, untrained eye…

But to my uber-sensitive, disguise-detecting girlfriend eye, he really looks like THIS

This is usually when I either A) apologize profusely for being such an insensitive jerk or B) get defensive because I don’t like admitting I’m wrong… which I usually am.

The moral of this story is that you can pretty much get away with anything as long as there is a cute fuzzy animal nearby that you can use for emotional blackmail